i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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