What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
