I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
