Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize