using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
