...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
