so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
