is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
