She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
