Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
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