he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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