I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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