dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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