i think my tv is drunk
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
