In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
