i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize