Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
