Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize