Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
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I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
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Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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