Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
