he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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