Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
