Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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