new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
