For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
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Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
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Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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