Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
