hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
