Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize