You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
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