I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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