Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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