Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize