did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
