he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
