I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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