the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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