thus making me awesome and them whores
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
