I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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