put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
