I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
