i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
