when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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