You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think my mom watched the whole time
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
