Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
