I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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