Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
