we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I think i got beer on your cat.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
