I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
