OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
