I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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