My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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