Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
