i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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