do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
