I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
