we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
