So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
