I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
