I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
