GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Randomize
