Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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