Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
