a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
