dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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