we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
