Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
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Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
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When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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