What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize